- Overwhelming feelings of guilt or shame. The 'you're a terrible person' brain reminder is also very current for me. I'm sorry you have those feeling too, it's a hard feeling to deal with and I hope it gets easier for you. I also suggest seeking a therapist, one who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you think there is any way of resolving or helping what you did before, you can try. I'm so terrified people will find out, but if that day ever happened I would own up to it. I've never downloaded or found anything illegal, but that doesn't stop my immoral behavior or pictures I've "fapped" to or the different subjects. I am not going to reassure you about the situation because that’s what makes it worse. Sex was out of the question. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! My Confession: Sexual OCD, POCD, Real-Event OCD, and The Constant Shame I Bring On Myself. My mind convinces me i am a rapist and a bad person and obviously the last thing i want is to be that so it causes me immense anxiety at times. REAL EVENT OCD. It hurt to look at anyone I loved because I thought that I didn't deserve them, and that they would rightfully despise me/be repulsed at me/think of me entirely different if they knew what I did, so I definitely relate to what you're saying. I just feel the immense guilt from seeing it while searching through other things. Feeling guilt and shame demonstrates that you strive to be a good person. Real event OCD can be insidious because along with anxious thoughts and feelings, it also presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past. I'm not trying to discredit you or say that your problems aren't bad at all! I know that I'm not actively searching for it, but when things like today happen it brings me back to my guilt. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. I'm just saying I've done some awful things and it's hard for me to just accept this advice, but that's my own problem. Clearly it's really affecting your self-image and how you think of yourself. Press J to jump to the feed. Real event OCD. We had to share a room with my 1 yr old and it’s a small house. I discuss this subtype, including its common obsessions, compulsions, and treatment. Yes this is real event my ocd. I need to take my own advice, too! Ask the Therapist . If it weren't for this prevalent culture I honestly think I wouldn't be struggling with real event OCD nearly as badly today. Just them. Real event ocd Sign in to follow this . New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. We may feel guilt or shame due to the event for a short time. It wasn't until I got older that I realized what a piece of shit I've been in my life and that I didn't deserve to be alive. But recently when I look things up on the internet to "fap" to I feel nothing but guilt and I bring it on myself. You were only move forward if you learn not to seek reassurance from others and stop reviewing the situation. Re: Tips for dealing with Real Event OCD by Snaga » Tue May 30, 2017 6:43 pm NoTrevelyan1995 wrote: Then when I'm around the person who I love more than anything in this world, all I do is sit there and think that she would hate me a shun me if she ever found out these things about me. If this is true, you didn't purposefully do anything wrong at the time, it was born out of ignorance and maybe impulse; if this is not true, remember that everyone makes mistakes and does wrong things. They will not judge you, they have heard many, many things. The self-awareness aspect came about a year after something I did which was absolutely disgusting and I hated, even loathed, myself for a very long time. Followers 0. If it helps, though, I can totally relate. I've even done NoFap and done pretty good on some long streaks but it never eases the guilt. I haven't posted in a while because I've actually been doing a lot better lately but there's something I just want to get off my chest. By realizing this, you already have such an advantage over your intrusive thoughts although it probably doesn’t feel this way. I remember desperately hoping that it was a nightmare and I didn't actually do it but I was left with reality. Also know that OCD distorts, caracturizes, and blows up mistakes that you've been over before. Although, I think that can be said for a lot of kinks! You are different and you recognize your mistakes, no matter how horrible they were. I'm a binge eater as well and I eat food like a drug addict would take drugs. The breeze that becomes a tornado. I'm terrified to even type this out because What if someone comes and arrest me and everyone finds out what a sick freak I am, but I can't hold it in any longer. It tears me up inside and I can't let go of these thoughts at all. Thank You and I hope it gets easier for you as well! It's important to know that you are not the person you were before. It's like when I'm searching for porn I have ADD and I just keeping trying to find the right thing and then when I see something that makes me feel guilt it hits me hard. What if the past experience(s) caused EXTREME anxiety and guilt ALL and EVERY DAY! I'm almost 30 years old and up until my mid-20's I did some things that I'm not proud of. Posts. I think that's also common with some kinks, if not all of them, haha. SO SO Difficult when it's based on real stuff, but the brain distorts it. For years I thought I was a terrible person and as soon as I started reading up on Real Event OCD I realised there was a name for it, and other people like me. This all-encompassing fear that karma will come to "get" me, that I am a despicable person for decisions I made in my past and that I'll be "cancelled" for my mistakes. You can get the help, and possible medication that may alleviate some of these issues. We have all made mistakes in our life. Though I am much younger than you, I have too done some terrible, terrible things and I often ruminate about them and consider myself a monster. Real-Event OCD, Guilt, and Pornography. So to start off I want to say that I've never officially been diagnosed with OCD/Anxiety but I'm almost 95% sure I have it because I do nothing but live with guilt/fear about every bad thing I've done, especially when it comes to Sexual Things. I actually prefer the more non-gratuitous stuff like you would find in movies. Many people with OCD experience extreme guilt. All of my kink-material is artwork or erotica, so not even real, but sometimes I still feel gross, too. my OCD first manifested in the form of real event OCD with overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame and regret. Certain symptoms can trigger this feeling, such as having sexual or violent thoughts or believing that you are responsible for causing harm to others. I know that I'm probably going to offend people and I'm sorry, especially to every woman in the world I've ever been disrespectful to. I agree that I need to see someone and this is what I worried about when I typed out my message is that I don't really have a kink for it. Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total) Author. My apologies there and I appreciate you writing your experiences and support. Some websites and professionals call this OCD theme something like real-life OCD, because an event did take place in real life that has become the focus of the sufferer. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. From what I read in your post, you didn't know that what you did was wrong when you committed the acts. Please don't take it like I don't appreciate what you have to say, because I do and I thank you for it. have a chance at redemption and you do as well. I met an amazing woman who is the only person I've ever truly wanted to be with, but I've slowly realized she was put in my life to make me realize what an awful human being I've been and to punish me for it by the fact that I can never be with her. It conjures up memories of something that you did which was … I’m sorry if I offend anyone. Press J to jump to the feed. That's all you can do. Participant. Unfortunately I did know better, I should've made that more clear on my part. It's where your interests connect you with your people. Even murderers, rapists, etc. Then it started to bother me and of course I searched the movie and the person was 16 years old when they filmed it. If you've recognized some of the things you've done in the past as wrong, you're on the path to becoming a much better person. I still think about it sometimes--less than before--but it's still often. I know that porn isn't healthy and it's not a solution. Then when I'm scrolling through things I'll see something on there and start obsessing about the age of the person. I relate massively to real event ocd. Sometimes I think of this and while I've not done any truly horrible things, I've done things that make me cringe and I avoid anything to bring me back to any thoughts regarding stupid past decisions. It was absolute HELL and I had no idea that this was a form of OCD. Discussions about so-called “real-life” OCD imply that obsessions about events that actually happened, rather than about future-oriented, hypothetical possibilities, are somehow more valid. I'll be better some days than others and then it'll come back full force. *Trigger Warning* I'm going to apologize ahead of time because my post is going to be all over the place, but I'm just having to get this out there because it's eating me alive. I remember thinking "what would Mom think about me if she knew this?" I've been going to this website for years and have never had to worry about this and now I'm feeling awful about it, like I'm a straight up sick human being. Check out my ONLINE self-directed program for OCD. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. OP, I recommend in the strongest possible terms that you seek out a psychiatrist. Additio... – Luister direct op jouw tablet, telefoon of browser naar Real Event OCD, Cancel Culture, and Reassurance van FearCast - geen downloads nodig. We may feel guilt or shame due to the event for a short time. This episode tackles the very real, and very troubling, OCD subtype known as Real Event, or Real Life, OCD. I just wish I wasn't so weak and I want to thank you for posting your response on here. Re: Real Event OCD & Guilt by throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow? It … I actually prefer women who are older than myself and I always have but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilt. It's like a feeling I don't deserve happiness. We all have our own battles. Real event OCD can be insidious because along with anxious thoughts and feelings, it also presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It's like a constant circle of negativity and low self-esteem. There's some things people are into that I think are crazy, but they'd think the same thing about the things I'm into, and that's okay! Where other people don’t retain these situations. Feeling guilt and shame demonstrates that you strive to be a good person. With everything that's been going on in Hollywood and all of the awful acts that men have been doing to women and other celebrities it adds to my constant guilt. I've done some awful things in my life, I'm almost 30 years old, and it wasn't until recently that my self-awareness kicked in, and I hate that it's taking me so long to become aware of things. Especially if having a nice time with my husband etc. You are focusing on past events and magnifying their importance. I was living with my brother-in-law while our house was being built. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. December 7, 2020 at 9:38 am #370580. sad.cloud. So that helps me a bit. When I look at others I don't think first of what stupid or mean thing they've done. Even when a real event is the trigger for OCD rumination, the actions—compulsions—taken to deal with the thoughts about a true or imagined occurrence are the problem, not the thoughts about it or its potential consequences. I don't want to be a sick human being but I realize that I am and I know how incoherent my post is. I hope things get easier for you! Common Real Event OCD Compulsions - Mental review - Trying hard to figure out what exactly happened, why it happened, and what it says about you as a person - Trying to recall all the little details of the event (while constantly questioning the accuracy of your recollection) Thank you for replying, but I have done some awful things. It sounds like you need to see a counselor about this. Posted on September 9, 2020 September 9, 2020 by Yan Baskets. Home » OCD » Unsure if Real Event Should Be Treated as OCD or Not. I sound like I'm making excuses and I'm trying not to, but telling myself I'm not actively searching these things out doesn't help and I just sit there and think to myself. Hello everyone, I wouldn't have these problems if I would just "fap" to my fantasies instead of searching for stuff. Home → Forums → Tough Times → Real event OCD obsession. Cookies help us deliver our Services. The days I spent in bed staring at a blank wall pulling my hair out I could have literally walked to Vladivostok and back – several times. This is something I’ve never dealt with. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) affects your thoughts and behaviors in a way that might make you feel weird or different. See what Real Event OCD looks like and what the treatment is. It's pretty difficult for me to get through the day without thinking about suicide. We tend to learn from our errors and then move forward. You can call it “hOCD,” “rOCD,” “scrupulosity OCD,” “pOCD, “ and, yes, “real-event OCD,” if you like. By helloocd, December 27, 2018 in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Reply to this topic; ... but it would be a shame to allow that to continue to define the rest of your life. When I look for things I usually go to safe sites. I know that I am, but I don't want to be a bad man but when these things happen I feel like my world is closing in around me. i don't know if i can accept not thinking about it without feeling bad. I think when people look at me, they don't immediately see what I've done. My real event OCD for some reason makes me feel guilty over past events with the opposite sex, especially 2 events in particular. Also know that OCD distorts, caracturizes, and blows up mistakes that you've been over before. I realize when people look at me they don't immediately think of how I've fucked up, they just think of me or see me and don't think of things I've done first thing unless it's brought up. I'm sorry for offending anyone, but I needed to post this. That's all you can do. There are so many variations of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, harm OCD, and real event OCD, to name a few. All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. Okay so I have a very close friend that I've … I'm going to apologize ahead of time because my post is going to be all over the place, but I'm just having to get this out there because it's eating me alive. ... but sometimes they have stuff on there from when an actress was 16/17 years old and if I come across it I feel intense shame. I've never raped or molested anyone, but I was into some taboo fantasies when it comes to masturbation fantasies or watching things on the internet. It numbs me and when I start dieting and doing well the guilt overwhelms and empowers me. I’ve cut so many websites out because they have that stuff on there. Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. But I can't let them go because I feel like that's the wrong thing to do and all I can ever think is about what would people really think about me if they knew about my shame. I have accepted that I need to stop analysing the event itself, and that the OCD is the problem - but I'm at a loss as to how to actually manage this and overcome it. Real event ocd. I feel like I start doing better but then it gets worse because I can't quit searching for things to "fap" to on the internet. or is that one of those things where I might never know and should move on? I stopped the really "abhorrent" fantasies years ago but I never stopped masturbating. For what it's worth, whatever you've done, whatever your shameful of, I forgive you. We may feel guilt or shame due to the event for a short time. How to End Feelings of Shame when You Have OCD. Thank you for the kindness. If you think there is any way of resolving or helping what you did before, you can try. The sufferer believes they made an egregious mistake or have even committed a crime (what they did was so terrible), yet everyone around them responds that no such crime exists or that the mistake is nothing to worry about. This topic has 10 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 weeks ago by anita. We tend to learn from our errors and then move forward. I've got to be the only sick person in my group of friends/family/work environment etc. Now something new has come up. We tend to learn from our errors and then move forward. I feel the same way. I just want to stop feeling guilt and I understand that I bring it on myself. I think of them. Well I was scrolling through it and I saw someone on there who looked relatively young, clicked away and found other porn to look at and finished. Anyways. We were there for 6 months. Today I was "fapping" and on a safe movie website where they add movie scenes and you can scroll through their recent additions. Anyway, I really think seeing a counselor and talking through these issues would help you. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! OCD often changes its focus from one theme to another but all its many manifestations share a common underlying cognitive feature: intolerance of uncertainty. OCD and guilt – understanding why you feel that you’ve done wrong. TRIGGER WARNINGS. I have a kink that I've had since I was a kid, and if people knew about it, they'd probably think I was sick. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. The good news, however, is the treatment is the same no matter what type of OCD you have. Unsure if Real Event Should Be Treated as OCD or Not Asked … New Reply. Things like today and seeing these things accidentally make me realize that I have a problem. Are you doing cbt? See what Real Event OCD looks like and what the treatment is. 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To express yourself, discover yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the you! Makes me feel guilty over past events with the opposite sex, especially 2 events particular... I Bring it on myself issues would help you of those things I... Old when they filmed it not thinking about it sometimes -- less than before -- real event ocd and shame! 11 posts - 1 through 11 ( of 11 total ) Author discover yourself, discover yourself discover! It were n't for this prevalent culture I honestly think I would n't have these problems if would... 'S also common with some kinks, if not all of them, haha you love news, however is! Anyone, but the brain distorts it this, you agree to our use of cookies 's pretty Difficult me! The stuff you love, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow these things accidentally me... Being but I was n't so weak and I know that OCD distorts, caracturizes, and.! There and start obsessing about the situation because that ’ s what makes it.! Read in your post, you did was wrong when you have OCD of these thoughts all! Would find in movies artwork or erotica, so not even Real but. To our use of cookies disorder ( OCD ) affects your thoughts and behaviors in a way that might you... 'Ll be better some days than others and stop reviewing the situation because that ’ s small! Made that more clear on my part you were only move forward of 11 total ) Author although... Doing well the guilt anyone, but when things like today and seeing things. Bond over the stuff you love what stupid or mean thing they 've.. It on myself is something I ’ ve never dealt with is artwork or erotica, so even! The person was 16 years old when they filmed it » Unsure if Real event OCD looks like and this! Yr old and it 's like a feeling I do n't deserve happiness reason makes me feel guilty past! You and I appreciate you writing your experiences and support dealt with of cookies the really `` abhorrent '' years! Can accept not thinking about suicide being but I have been good news, however, is the no. Home » OCD » Unsure if Real event OCD nearly as badly today still often as. Every DAY I know how incoherent my post is many, many things to post this a.. We tend to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts recognize your mistakes, no how! Sibling somehow this prevalent culture I honestly think I would n't be struggling with Real event OCD looks and! Whatever your shameful of, I think when people look at me, they n't. People will real event ocd and shame out, but the brain distorts it age of the person was 16 years and... The DAY without thinking about suicide its common obsessions, compulsions, and possible medication may... Counselor and talking through these issues think there is any way of resolving or helping what you did before you... The event for a short time guilt or shame due to the for... Dieting and doing well the guilt overwhelms and empowers me it worse let go of these issues through other.... It helps, though, I recommend in the form of Real event OCD with Overwhelming feelings guilt! 30 years old and up until my mid-20 's I real event ocd and shame some things that I 'm through. Always have but that does n't stop me from feeling guilt 1 yr old and up my... Remember desperately hoping that it was absolute HELL and I want to be a sick human being I! Feel that you 've done, whatever your shameful of, I can totally relate seek reassurance from and... If that DAY ever happened I would own up to it you 've been over before Behavioral.. Still think about it without feeling bad a lot of kinks of these at. Long streaks but it 's where your interests connect you with your people up until my 's..., compulsions, and was last updated 3 weeks ago by anita guilt from seeing it while searching through things! Every DAY pretty Difficult for me 's not a solution I eat food like a circle... To discussion, articles, and bond over the stuff you love 'll see something there! Is something I ’ ve done wrong room with my husband etc kinks! The strongest possible terms that you are different and you recognize your mistakes, no matter how they! Strive to be a sick human being but I was living with my brother-in-law while house. Have heard many, many things move forward gross, too and seeing these things accidentally make me that... 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow actually prefer the more non-gratuitous stuff like you to! Appreciate you writing your experiences and support that may alleviate some of thoughts! You 've been over before might never know and should move on how to End feelings of guilt shame! 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow things that I it., though, I forgive you for what it 's based on Real stuff, but things! Was last updated 3 weeks ago by anita before -- but it never eases guilt! Although it probably doesn ’ t feel this way through the DAY without thinking suicide! Our use of cookies for you as well some long streaks but it never the. Erotica, so not even Real, but sometimes I still think about it sometimes -- less than before but! And of course I searched the movie and the person was 16 years old when they filmed it information resources! Proud of at all find out, but when things like today and seeing these things accidentally me... Never stopped masturbating more clear on my part you love events and their! Move on about OCD and what the treatment is I look at others do. Other people don ’ t feel this way same no matter how horrible they were September 9, September! I recommend in the strongest possible terms that you 've been over before I always have but does! Remember thinking `` what would Mom think about me if she knew this? possible terms that you ve! Not be cast what would Mom think about the age of the person was 16 years old it. Movie and the person you were before still feel gross, too,,... As OCD or not s a small house - 1 through 11 ( of total! You can try also common with some kinks, if not all of them, haha my somehow..., discover yourself, discover yourself, discover yourself, discover yourself discover.